Sometimes we claim a certain label for ourselves without even realizing we’ve carefully inked it like a bad tattoo onto our every thought and action. It’s the understanding we hold of who we are, and it silently shapes and molds thoughts, decisions, who we love or don’t love… I think most of us are unaware of our tendency to allow unconscious labels to stitch their black threads into our naturally golden seams. The labels are silent enough in their own right yet, somehow loud as hell all at once. You never say them out loud; maybe you never even consciously recognize them within your mind. Yet, these words sing their theme song over all you are and do. Perhaps, these words look a little something like this:
Broken. Unlovable. Unreachable. Damaged. Alone. Failure. Unworthy. Naïve. Young. Stupid.
The list goes on.
Recognizing the words, which have darkened your being for so long, feels a bit like your heart stopping up for a beat too long and air not quite reaching your lungs.
Maybe you’ve come to know the lyrics pushing the air out of your lungs, and after wrestling them to the ground, and tearing down brick after brick of false ideas you are finally angry. You’re angry at people and structures, and the feeling of no one giving a shit enough to validate much less understand your experience simply because it is different than their own.
You’re angry because you have come so far only to run into more walls. And right about now, you aren’t sure what you could even do to not feel the anger fiercely bubble up over every time someone utters triggers, or you are invalidated mercilessly by those around you.
After all, we tuck these words and stories and ideas into our ripped up back pockets as if they can protect us from ever being hurt by them again. When in reality, you simply just placed the knife in your own hands. We don’t realize this is just another means of allowing the labels, which were never meant for us at all, to trail behind us like the dark cloud they are.
Know these words and labels are not yours to hold onto any longer.
The initial recognition of the words or labels can feel like pushing up through the water and blinking, blinking, blinking. All is not as you thought it was. Suddenly, you’re asking yourself hard questions and realizing how much of your life has been dictated by a false underlying idea of who you are. Tearing out these false ideas is going to hurt. Terribly. But after? After, there is freedom and strength. You ask yourself those same hard questions and can answer honestly, and then choose what is true. You can choose what is good and lovely, and going to grow you even further.
I dare you to take back the words you allow to define yourself. Create your own song of light to sing around yourself and never stop dancing to it.