I’ve felt a bit lost as to what I’m really doing over in this fine corner of the interwebs. I lost my connection to my why I suppose. Frankly, I found myself wondering why I am even bothering with the whole endeavor. What are my words really doing anyways? A faithless spiral into the deep wooded area, where light can’t seem to filter in. Doubt. As a friend of mine would say, this is where I’ve been liven’.
Mid plummet, a dear soul reminded me of a truth buried so far under I lost sight of its light. I am a writer for the heart. Plain and simple. It’s always been about the heart. Reading her words my chest relaxed a bit and my rapid descent slowed. Her statement, in retrospect, was really quite serendipitous. You see, earlier, I had spent time pondering and pouring over what I would choose as my word for 2015. As someone who has had an ongoing love affair with written language since the very first time she understood the messes of letters on pages to be words this concept of carrying one specific word for an entire year resonated deeply within myself.
I began to filter and sift through words I consider to be my core desired feelings, and words I simply gravitate towards and drew a hard blank. I listened to an author and writing coach I admire dive into her process of letting her word arrive in its own time. I asked a friend to just crown me with a word. All of which were lovely, but nothing seemed to settle right. I hadn’t found a word which the deepest part of me gave a resounding and quiet yes to.
Now here is where I had to take a moment and pause. I was sitting cross legged on the floor and closed my eyes. I pictured myself as I was there on the floor, and my mind brought me to my heart. I felt the words bubble up from an honest and true place:
Everything must come from here. Your words. Your truth. Whatever is left of your faith. All of this needs to start and end in the heart. Stop dwelling in your thoughts and mind, and take it back to the source.
As my friend reminded me, I write for the heart. And so my word for the year is heart of course. I forgot how simple the idea of this space is. A place to sit and capture the words our hearts need to hear. Yours and mine both. Going into this new year I hope to create out of my heart and send love in every last word.
I would love to hear what is pressing on the edges of your own hearts already this year. If you would like, shoot me an email or comment with whatever is holding you captive (good or bad!) as we move into the new year.